Zellers and Target and Wal-Mart, Oh My

So - unless you've been living under a rock or a hard place - you'll know that Zellers is closing down to make room for the first wave of Target stores headed North. This has actually been true for a while, and Target bought out the leases of all Zellers stores back in 2010, but has been renting the spaces back to HBC to keep the Zellers stores running until they were ready to make their move. The time has finally come, and I couldn't be happier.

I couldn't really give a sh*t about Target - Wal-Mart and I have a special kind of bond; the kind where we can be together for hours without saying a word, and both leave happy. She knows what I like, makes me dinner when I'm hungry, and I always know where to find her.

Anyway, I digress....Zellers is being put out of its misery, and it's about 5 years overdue. The place is dirty, NEVER has the lowest prices, and when they do, it's on crap that you would NEVER need.

Damn Zellers - you're so awesome. I didn't think
I'd ever find a deal on ugly sheets, women's
pajamas and a Barry White CD all in one place!

I could go on and on about what went wrong with Zellers - and I will!

• The place never updates their stock - I'm pretty sure you can still buy Nintendo 64 games in the electronics department - and they're under lock and key. If you ask them about a Playstation 3 game, they tell you that they'll check when that's going to be released. I'm pretty sure they're still using this advertisement, since the special on knives hasn't changed...

• The clothing all looks like the stuff your grandmother bought you when you were a kid and HAD to wear a couple of times in front of her before throwing it away. Aside from their olympic gear (which is mostly sold at The Bay stores) all you can find is generic looking clothes, that look like they were thrown together. 
• Paint your god damned walls....come on - do you really not notice that they're no longer white? They've all faded and turned a shade of dirty white. Literally - if I went into a paint store to buy the Zellers colour, I'd take an eggshell white, and pee into it and mix. That would be a perfect match. If Zellers would have painted their walls like 5-10 years ago, I might have actually set foot in one still. I mean come on people, go over to Wal-Mart and buy yourself a gallon or 2 (or 1000000000)....since you don't have a paint department
• Their employees are miserable....that's all. I'm pretty sure that it has to do with all the other things on the list. If I don't like shopping there for 10 minutes, you can bet your ass that they don't enjoy working there for 8 hours.
• The restaurants...Wal-Mart has McDonalds (and sometimes a Tim Hortons)....Zellers? Has this...

What is now considered a retro diner is I'm sure original to the
first stores. I think it's just a case of one thing they didn't update
going their way...still though. I've never stayed in one long
enough to want to eat here.

Now...I'm not trying to be a real asshole - Zellers is one of those pieces of Canadian history that nobody will forget....well...everyone will forget, but not in my lifetime. They could have competed with Wal-Mart, and they could have been a force in retail, but they didn't have what it took to do the one thing they needed to do.....TRY!

It's a big blow though to Canadians, because even though Target will be bringing in a lot of new jobs, and profits - all Zellers employees are going to lose their jobs, but will be first in line to apply for new ones within Target. Aside from that, Loblaws might be a big winner in all of this, as they are trying to buy ALL of the Zellers customer pharmaceutical records to take over the distribution of prescription drugs.

So now we wait....out goes Zellers, and the dirty smell is adds to all of the small malls depending on it.....and in comes what could be Wal-Mart's only true competition since its time in Canada.

Don't worry Wal-Mart....my heart will always be with you...